the new latchkey kids

when i was younger, i remember over hearing adults talk about latchkey kids and even as a child...i knew it was considered a negative or sad thing. i knew that these where the kids that i went to school with who didn't get picked up by a carpool mom friend or walk in to a home filled with the smell of freshly baked cookies and a glass of cold milk waiting for them on the table. these school friends walked home to an empty house, let themselves in, and then were responsible for entertaining themselves until someone arrived home from work that night. i have been thinking about these kids lately and wondering what the people who felt sorry for those kids would think about kids these days. i think we have new latchkey kids. they are the cell phone kids. about a year ago, i started realizing how much time a text here and a phone call there would take away from my kids. i felt like if my cell phone went off...i needed to answer it. what if it was super important or an emergency of some sort. someone was calling. someone was texting. obviously they needed me. i don't want to miss anything. you know what i realized? it was never any of those things. i realized how i could be right with my 3 precious little ones...in the same room with them...but be missing them. when that phone was in my hand...i was disengaged. and i don't even have one of the fancy phones with internet and e-mail and games, etc. etc. etc. that is when i decided that i did not want to miss what my kids were saying to me. i did not want them to see me staring at my phone screen or typing a text or listen to me chit chatting away. i wanted them to see my eyes. i wanted them to see and feel me focusing on them and what they wee showing me or telling me about their day or their circumstances. i wanted to be engaged with them. i decided to put the phone away. it was no longer going to be stored on the table or in my back pocket to ensure that i didn't miss something. it was in my purse. i realized that we do not have to be accessible 24 hours a day. a while back, the staff at our church all got iphones. i can not believe how excited everyone was about this. it was as if it was christmas morning for a bunch of little kids. i heard how much more convenient this will make things. e-mail...enternet...maps...facebook...online poker at your fingertips. whoa!! how did we ever manage before? chad did not get one. we had just re-signed our contract with sprint and it was going to cost as much as the phone to get out of it, so we decided it was not a necessary use of our money or the church's. however, as everyone used their cool, new gadget, chad began to feel like he was missing out. he really wanted this thing. so, we waited until our contract was up and the iphone was much cheaper and he got it. i will admit that there are small ways that having this phone makes certain things like finding a restaurant easier, but i find myself hating it. i have heard it called by other friends of mine "the other woman." i can relate. we had a conversation the other night where chad said that he felt like he was checking out all the time...he wasn't engaged...it was too easy to be distracted by this little piece of technology and all of it's aps (that's iphone talk). i was super proud of him and really excited at the thought of not competing with a phone anymore. he was feeling the same thing i was feeling about my phone a while back. during this conversation, we talked about how if we thought the latchkey kids had it rough from when we were little...how must the cell phone kids feel now. it got me thinking about what the consequences are going to be for the kids who grow up with parents who were always on their phones...whether talking, e-mailing, messing around on facebook, or playing games. i just know that sometimes it feels lonelier to have someone in your presence who is totally disengaged from you than to not have anyone there at all. we don't want our kids to be the latchkey kids of today...that's for sure. at the risk of sounding like some sort of 6 shooter...join us and put your cell phones away.

everyone's just livin' life around here

it's been a little while, hasn't it? this summer has flown by in some ways and has decided to be quite pokey in others. it seems to take a couple of weeks to get used to it being summer. we definitely sleep in...which i loooooovvvve! i also love not having to follow the traditional schedule. for example, we have brunch at 10 am instead of breakfast and lunch. i usually make a big meal...like with eggs, muffins, smoothies, toast, biscuits, cereal, yogurt, and fruit. obviously it is just some combination of all of those things and not all of it every day. anyways, the kids are usually hungry enough to eat it all and then they have a healthy snack at 2 and dinner at 5. it works a lot better than breakfast, lunch and dinner. they eat way better and i don't have to be in the kitchen as much...which i also loooooovvvve!

chad and i went to austin for a couple of days and my parents kept the kids for us. that was fun. we were only back 2 days before we drove the 17 hours to iowa. we were there for 10 days and then we were only back 2 days before chad had to leave for a church planter's training at mark driscoll's church in seattle and his master's work at fuller in california. it would sure be nice to have some sort of relaxing vacation...like in hawaii...for a couple of weeks to end the summer. however, traveling is the opposite of relaxing for me, so even if i was relaxing while i was there (as much as you could relax being in the 3rd trimester of a 4th pregnancy while watching 3 young kids on the beach) i would most likely be stressed and tired again by the time we got home.

i'm trying to muster up the energy each day to do something fun with the kids. i don't want them to be bored. i am taking them to space center houston next week to see all the star wars exhibits, but i'm actually dreading being on my feet the whole time. do you think anyone would notice if i took a lawn chair or something? maybe i can talk my mommy into going with me! :)

kevin is leaving for a european excursion tomorrow. it is weird to think that by the time everyone gets back and settled again, it will be almost time to start school. the plus...closer to baby time! he was telling me of all his plans yesterday...vienna; germany; prague; the beaches of croatia; etc...and i told him of my new and exciting brunch/dinner schedule. i started feeling sorry for myself for a second...thinking that he was really living and i was so hum drum...but then the funniest thing happened: i felt my little, baby girl kick inside me and at that i smiled and thought...now, that's life!

F.S.M.

Colton came up with this title for me and I thought it pretty clever. Last night I found my thrill...and it's called my Favorite Summer Meal. I thought about taking a picture, because it seems that is the big bloggy thing to do when you blog about a meal, however I thought about it a little late...being as my plate was empty. :) It is always a good sign when you sit down to eat dinner with all 5 of us and it is quiet. This is what happened last night. Total silence!! I noticed it right away and looked around to see what the problem was and why I wasn't hearing all the complaints about the meal as usual. I was pleasantly surprised to find everyone chewing and shoveling and focused on their plates. I looked at chad, smiled, and dug in. Here was the menu and a meal that we will be enjoying on a weekly basis this summer:

Turkey Bacon and Light Mayo Sandwiches (I enjoyed 2 fat slices of tomato on mine!! no lettuce please.)

Peaches & Cream Corn on the Cobb

Tomato Slices w/ salt and pepper

Pink Lemonade

It hit the spot and everyone (including the kids) raved that it was the best meal ever and even said that I was the best "cooker" in the world. And everyone knows that's not true!!

Oh yeah...honorable mention goes to Aiden Annee-Grace, who ate 3 ears (is that how you spell that in the context of corn?) of corn. She was covered in butter from head to toe!! It was even in her hair. That... I should have taken a picture of.

we love our sons and daughter.......S!!

the much anticipated ultrasound was today and it's official. we are having another girl!! colton, chase and aiden are quite excited that another sister is on the way. aiden was sure it was a girl from the beginning. when i told her...she smiled and whispered, "i was right."

so...here is where you come in. we know what her name is and each have our favorite spelling...but thought it would be fun to take a vote. what is your favorite spelling of this little girl's name?

1. Ansley

2. Anslee

3. Anslie

4. Ansleigh

5. Anslye

6. Annsley

7. Annslee

8. Annslie

barrettes are for girls

we had a nice, little memorial day weekend. complete with a home improvement project (BOO!)
and swimming (YEAH!).

chad started things off on saturday with a little painting. i'm happy to say that i helped him by dusting the woodwork so that the tape would stick when he went to tape the room off. i used to think that i was good at such projects...the detail of the taping, the edging, the color picking outing...however i find myself getting edged right out of the situation. which is really fine by me because i H-A-T-E painting. being pregnant, i find, is a great excuse to not have to feel guilty about not being around to help. my job was to...like i said...dust the molding and clear everything out of the bathroom before chad got to it. (he had already prepared aiden's new, big girl room.) and i did just that. then...i took the kids to my parents to hang out there for the day in order to leave chad to his masterful work in peace. the smell is not good for me or the kids and the windows needed to be open upstairs. my rules...no windows open upstairs with kids in the house. and...no kids around paint.

he finished it in 1 day and i loved coming home to the finished product. well...almost finished. my jobs also include getting the rooms put back together.

today, we (i) made a picnic lunch and then we took the kids to the pool. they were loving this little outing. we (they) swam a while and then we ate lunch. after getting in the pool to cool off a little, chad and i were able to lounge and watch the kids play. during adult swim, all the kids get in the baby pool. this is where we could have potentially had a problem. chase, true to form was making friends with everyone there and we overheard him chatting with an older boy. i'd say he was about 10 or 11. i heard chase ask him what his name was. i did not hear the boy answer, but did hear chase respond with, "that's a girl name." now, i knew he was not meaning this to be rude...he was legitimately confused. the boy must have said, "what?" because chase repeated himself and i immediately called chad's attention to the potential issue. luckily, the kid just sorta shrugged and went on and luckily they called all swim...so he left the baby pool. i called chase over to us and he was very confused as to why he was being called down. we asked him what he said to the boy. he said..."i said that he had a girl name." chad said, "what was his name?" chase said, "bret." chad said, "that's a boy's name." chase said, "no it's not. it's what aiden wears in her hair. you know. barrette."

i was rolling. seriously stifling the laughter. chad said, "no chase...it's bret. and it's a boy's name." i said, "even if his name was kristen, don't tell an older and bigger kid that he has a girl's name." chase shrugged and said ok and trotted back to the pool. chad and i just looked at each other with big eyes and laughed some more. you really can't argue with his logic.

you spin me right round...

well...the minute i started thinking that i had not had a blog-worthy story in a while, chase comes to my rescue.

we have small group at our house every sunday night, starting at 5:30. my brother, kevin has been having 2-a-days ever since he was put on the fight card for a june fight and decided to take colton to train with him last night. colton had been wanting to go and last night was perfect for him to go watch because it was just kevin, one of his training partners and his coach. colton got to punch around on the bags, learn some techniques and watch kevin in action. however, that left chase and aiden to take care of themselves upstairs during group. normally, we set them up in the movie room and let colton "watch" them and it works out fine. why spend $25 every sunday night on a babysitter when colton can do it? well...chad and i wondered how it would go without colton (the responsible one) to keep an eye on the decision making of the younger ones, but figured we would give it a go. how much trouble could they really get into? this, i have now learned is never really the question...but only a matter of options. they could not be in the movie room because we had been cleaning out the guest bedroom, turning it into aiden's big girl room all day and it was full of holiday bins and gift wrap stuff. so, we put them in pj's, tucked them into the boy's beds and put a special movie on. i told them that they would get to get up after group was over, but to stay there for the movie. "okay," they said. at least i thought they said okay.

about 1/2 the way into group, i started having that mommy instinct that i should go check on them. i hadn't really heard anything...but just had that feeling. i made a mental note to do that at the next lull in the conversation only i heard both of them on the stairs before i had the chance. i met them half way up the stairs and aiden was holding a part of the ceiling fan chain in her hand. she informed me that chase had "broken the fan in his room". chase began explaining the "accident". he said, "i just wanted to hold onto the fan and spin around, but it broke and it was an accident." all the while, he was doing the full body motion of hanging from a ceiling fan while letting it spin him around in the air. i was somewhat in shock that he would actually try this, while also thinking, "why have i not addressed this as a no go before?" i should have known one of them would try it. luckily, when he jumped from his bed, he only grabbed the chains, and not the fan blades...which were spinning at the time. only the chains broke and not the entire fan. i guess the group had heard some of the commotion because when i walked back into the living room, they were just kind of looking at me. i calmly said, "yeah...we need colton to watch them. chase just tried to hang from his fan and spin around." most of the other moms looked at me with their mouths hanging open while the dad's said, "that's awesome!!"

i tossed the fan part to chad and said, "could you please go explain to your son why he can't spin from fans."

not my best afternoon

so, everything was fine until about 2:00. i had left this morning with an agenda. i had to get the boy's to school, get aiden to school, find a nail salon near the south shore area to purchase chase's teacher's b-day gift, get to my (much needed) hair appointment, swing through a drive-through to get lunch, and get back to aiden's school to pick her up in time to get to the boy's school to deliver the b-day gift. no problem.

everything went great until the getting to aiden's school to pick her up part. the freeway was closed and it was stand still along the feeder. glancing at the clock, i figured i would only be about 5 minutes late. no big deal. 5 minutes ended up being 10 and when i got to the school, she was 1 of 2 kids left. i already felt like a criminal at that point. however, it was about to get worse. i rounded the doorway and saw her teacher...ready to go home (if it weren't for the delinquent mom's who don't pick up their kids on time) and she said, "is everything okay?" i said, "yeah...it's just that getting here from the north is impossible with the freeway shut down." she just looked at me and said, "you do realize you missed the mother's day party today." this was more of a statement than a question. i, in complete horror and shock said, "WHAT????" she proceeded to tell me that it had been written in the news letter AND that she had sent an e-mail on tuesday. how could i have possibly missed it? i felt terrible. aiden was playing on the other side of the room and had missed the whole exchange and all i wanted to do was run to her and profusely apologize and tell her that i would buy her a pony to make up for my thoughtless mistake. that's when the teacher said, "yeah...she was 1 of only 3 kids whose mom's didn't come. she was pretty upset." ok. not only was i buying her a pony...but we were now taking a trip to disney world. i called for her and she skipped over to me and said, "mooooommmmmmyyyyyy" in her most loving and happy tone. had she forgiven me? she was talking to me. that was a good sign. i apologized and told her how sorry i was. i started crying like a baby and she said that it was okay. she gave me my presents that she had made which turned the knife in my heart a little more. in the car, on the way to the boy's school, we went over all the details of the party so that we can re-create it at home tomorrow. we are going to the grocery store in the morning to get all the same snacks and paper plates, etc.

fast forward to the boy's school. i delivered the pedicure gift card without a hitch, and checked both the boys out of their classes with only 5 minutes left in the school day. it was at this point that i realized i didn't have my keys. i combed chase's teacher's class...listened to the kids come up with all kinds of stories about who "took" them...and retraced my steps to the office where i thought i may have layed them down. keep in mind that all this traipsing about was happening with 3 kids following me around, just wanting to go home. we got out to the car and i saw them in my purse. through the windows. of the locked car. now...i didn't really feel bad about this because it was my first time to lock the keys in the car and i have driven all over creation rescuing chad from the very same dilemma on multiple occasion. i went and used chase's teacher's phone to call my knight in shining armour to come to our rescue. the conversation went like this:

mindy: "chad...i'm at the school and i locked the keys in the car."

chad: "how did you do that?"

mindy: "oh, i don't know. similar to the way you've done it a bazillion times."

chad: "silence."

we decided that i would start walking home with the kids instead of standing on the curb waiting. he would meet us at home to unlock the house. about 1/8th of the way into the trip, i said, "come on kids! this is like an adventure!!" that's when aiden started screaming that her foot hurt. her new flips had rubbed a blister and it was then that i had to go barefoot in order to convince her that it was ok to go barefoot. about 1/2 way into the trip, we ran into an unfortunate dead rat in the middle of the sidewalk. it was all furry and looked like it was sleeping. only with bugs on it. the kids...just seeing the tale of desperoux, didn't like that. and neither did i for that matter. i told them to walk in the grass to get around it and aiden freaked out about walking in the grass without her shoes. i ended up having to carry her. i couldn't look at that rat another minute. it was then that i decided that this had not been one of my finer afternoons.